Preludes And Nocturnes

No, no I don’t.  And things go better when I remember this fact: I don’t need to do more.

But that doesn’t stop the brain.  Random things I want to do:

Make multiple listings of toys Malcolm doesn’t use and sell them on the internets - so I can buy him more useful toys.

Revamp blog (aka hire someone to revamp my blog) and then start using the rest of this website space b/c it seems silly to be buying this space every year and then not using it.  I want it to have a flickr aspect to it so I could host more than flickr will host… but, well, yeah whatever.

Sew a bunch of stuff.

Picture/post/sell a whole bunch of cloth diapers that are too small or just not right for our style (prefolds, I’m looking at you)

Craft a million card ideas in my head and then get more things posted on etsy

Mainly so I can…

Have enough in my paypal to buy these new diapers I saw

But I also want to start really working on the potty training.

Difficulties with all of the above?  The two jobs I have right now.  Kinda mucks stuff up with having NO TIME.  Over the past week I have had more marking then I’ve ever had before.  In my life.

And I’m not new.

70 papers

50 midterms

120 quizzes

14 lab reports

14 other midterms

16 presentations for one group of students

7 presentations for another group of students

And prep.

Most of my to-do list has strange guilt associated with it around money.  I hate using disposables b/c of the money. But I also hate having cloth diapers I won’t use (for various reasons) that I’ve not gone ahead and resold. Same with toys - I have this very weird fear of just spending without being responsible and of ‘wasting’ toys.  So if I resell them I’m being responsible.

I’m weird.  I know.  Please be weird, too, so I’m not all alone.

It has now been over a year since I stopped taking birth control, so since there is no newborn yowling in the living room right now (or a gathering of cells sucking the calcium from my teeth - did you know they did that?), I went to the doctor today to get the referral to The Specialist.

I think this will lead to one of the following:

a) A pregnancy before I can get my first appointment

b) A pregnancy confirmed AT my first appointment

c) A pregnancy aided by The Specliast which as we all knows means I’ll be having a ninja baby

d) I will find out next week that I’m actually pregnant RIGHT NOW!

If anyone is tracking, I’d like D.  Although Jim and I finished painting the fence with stain today and I think the fumes would mean I’d end up with the opposite of a ninja baby.  It would be a dumb slow baby - but I’d still love it.

Side note: first 6 months I took my folic acid daily, didn’t have any alcohol, didn’t do anything that would muck up trying to have a normal baby.  I must say after a year I pretty much just try to avoid smoking crack.  Well, too often that is.

Other random info - it was just Thanksgiving Monday this week.  One year ago on Thanksgiving monday I got my first of a million negative pregnancy tests.  *BUT* three years ago this past monday I took my first ever pregnancy test and it was positive. So Thanksgiving Monday is still a pretty neat day to me.

And I have to rant here since this woman is on my other sites where I usually rant.

So this one woman I like posts about considering a 3rd baby.  She has a 3yr old and a 1yr old.  Her husband, tonight, asked about going for a 3rd and she is torn.  She *thinks* she might want a 3rd but is feeling just a little overwhelmed right now.  But loves her kids so much and would love another - all very logcial.  But she just isn’t sure right now is right.

People reply with some standard type replies and then one woman comes in with “you never regret the children you do have, you just regret the ones you never had” which, I think, is the dumbest thing I’ve heard in a while. Her next comment was that if they could afford it financially and if they know that they want more children, just go ahead and have one.

I replied to her that lots of people who are great parents can still have moments of regret about their children or about timing or whatever.  And that making decisions about timing and relationships and everythign else is a good way to try to make raising kids better based on individual situations.

Her next comment was that she can’t understand anyone every regretting their children ‘but whatever’.

Since I don’t want to hijack my friend’s thread I’m posting here oh blogging land.  Her comments are stupid on fifteen levels. Let’s see how many I can outline before I get bored.

1- So any time anyone *considers* have a child they should just have it as long as they can afford to do so.  It won’t matter the impact it will have on their well-being or what they actually want for spacing - just the desire to have a baby is enough.

2- No good parents ever have regrets about having kids.  This is utter bullshit.  Tonnes of wonderful parents still have moments they wonder what the hell ever made them think this was a good idea.  And to say otherwise is to put on women that tired outdated 1950s ’smile pretty and don’t blink’ approach to life. Oh right, women never second guess their children.  Women just worship their kids every second of every day without fail.  To do otherwise would indicate a bad woman. And if any good woman has had a moment of wishing she did things different - that MUST mean she doesn’t actually love her kids.

3 - That just because we *can* reproduce we *should* reproduce despite anything else, and if we don’t there is a threat.  Saying that ‘you only regret the children you don’t have’ is a threat.

4 - That there are no other factors other than a desire and the money.  So no way to work in relationship issues, the other kids and what you want for them, career, or anything else.

Okay, I’m done now.

The trains have all been put to bed (on their train table).  Yes.  This is pretty much our living room now.

Find some random little play spots around the house.  This made Jim and me lol.

I figure I might need something to teach the following day…

Kitties have had their gushy food and are feeling the love.

Jim is getting us ready for the next day - lunches, coffee, clean spoons.

And Malcolm is reading a (surprise) train story to his dog.  Yes.  It is a bear.  But he keeps correcting us that it is a dog.

This post will not mean as much since I can’t be bothered to go take a picture.  But, in all, we have a newly improved backyard!  Is VERY EXCITING!  Understand that our backyard is teeeeeeeeny tiny.  We have just pushed the back fence back another three feet into our parking space and it makes a huge difference.  And we got our fence finished along the one edge, beside the house, and a gate on the other side of the house.

Oh fine, I’ll go take a picture.  But it isn’t sunny out so it might look drab. Wait here.

Okay, I’m loading the pictures and will chat a bit more as they get off my camera and onto the computer.  Then I’ll have to see how big they are since I notoriously take HUGE pictures of unimportant things and teeeny pictures of things I’d like to one day blow up.

Anyhoo, our backyard was only 20 feet long, so now it is over 23 feet long.  Trust me, it makes a difference.  And with everything being fenced in, it just feels really… secure.  Really nice to just sit out there with malcolm running about climbing his “weeeee” and playing with his trucks.  We also got them (to be clear, there were specific MEN hired to do all this and we paid them lots of the money) to put in a slab of concrete  under our back deck so the space would be more usable.  It was gravel before and ended up just being wasted space.  Here, look at some pictures!

The braces are just while the concrete sets.  They put the post fences in concrete for lastability!