Preludes And Nocturnes

Right! First day of freedom! Very good…

Yesterday was weird. I”ve been writing this thesis for a year now, and the last six weeks were hardcore. Now I’m at full stop and feel a bit lost. Not too surprising. So I had lunch and a visit with Cali, went upstairs and cleaned up my desk a bit (recycled stuff I knew was now out of date or scrap, put all my articles back in their filed binder system, restacked books, etc..), had a bit of a visit, went home, ate everything in the house.

No really.

I didn’t stop eating until 9:30. Julia laughed at what I ate though: carton of strawberries, a whole mango, veggie dish, soy crisps, banana, some yogurt, sprouted wrap with fresh salsa. I did stress to her that had there been cheesecake in the house - I would have just eaten that. I was very disappointed. I had thoughts like “what kind of a home doesn’t have a Costco cheesecake inthe freeezer???” Then I wondered if maybe a normal kind of home doesn’t have that. Then I thought that was a silly thought and wondered how late costco was open.

But I couldn’t drive. My eyes were totally bloodshot and blurry so everything had this crazy haze. I talked onthe phone for HOURS. And then a few more hours on top of that. Had a bath. Watched ER.

Not too shabby.

Today I take Leone around to get some of her prep done for her classes starting next week. She’s been away at mom and dad’s for the past week and need groceries and books and student loan papers filed. I’ll take some of my running about stuff along too.

For Min (and anyone else):
My committee has my thesis. Three people each with their own copy to read and comment on with suggestions and corrections and things I need to do in their expert opinions. They have up to six weeks to do this. Then I get it back. Kicker: could be six weeks, could be ten days. Don’t want to run away too far if they turn it around quickly.

What I want: “ohh very good jenn. Just a few typos and some passive voice - but the ideas are sound. Maybe think about putting in two paragraphs explaining how *this* works and work some Spivak through chapter one.” This would then be one to two weeks of further work from me to get it “Dean’s Office Ready.”

What I fear: “errr, pretty good. I like this and that, but you need to really need to include this whole body of theory you never mentioned.” Or something like that. Something like I need to revamp a whole chapter or add a whole body of knowledge of some sort. Something I’ve not even looked at. Research, revamp, rewrite. I know people who have entered into upwards of six months of revisions back and forth with their committee to get it “Dean’s Office Ready.”

But regardless, once the committee is satisfied with the thesis it goes to the Dean. Then the timeframe is very known. It takes six weeks from the date they get it at the office to schedule an Oral Defense. This is where I must present and defend my thesis to my committee plus an external plus an audience. They get three rounds of questions with the option for follow-up questions on each round.

There are five outcomes. Two are failure types. The other three are Pass with no revisions, minor revisions, or major revisions.

Major ones have to have the whole committee sign off on them. Minor is just the supervisor signing. No revisions is me doing the happy dance like all get-out.

So where I am right now is tough because I need to hear back from my committee and see what kind of time we’re looking at for this initial back and forth. I want to just dance around and be happy I’ve gotten this far - but until I hear back from them I’m unsure of what is coming next. I’m not trying to be negative, but I know how this works and I just want to get some idea that I’m almost there. If they turn this around in one week with minor edits needed, I could be two weeks from handing my COMPLETED THESIS to the Dean’s office. Or I could be six months away from that. I think this explains the eating of everything in the house last night as I no longer smoke.

But for now - now I am a bit anxious and just thinking about getting my car serviced, my hair cut, and a pedicure with Cali.

And maybe another carton of strawberries.

xoxo
jenn

I just printed, copied, and handed out my completed First Draft of my thesis to my committee members! I am so tired I can’t see straight (yes yes, there is an obvious joke there, I know). Stayed up a fair bit of last night to just get this thing done and now I’m that barfy-tired. But done. Done enough for right now at least. There should be anywhere from a week to six weeks till they get this draft back to me. And then we shall see where we go from there. I’m so freaked they’ll be like “errr, about the whole last half… it is shite. redo”

I’m hoping for “wow, this is so good we have no suggestions. Let’s just take this baby to the defence shall we?”

*le sigh*

Resisted to urge to re-read it all again today. I came in and have only done the specific tasks I noted last night. Did em and it is done. There are errors. This is something I know to be true. But this is a draft and they just might tell me to remove a whole section so no point in going insane. And if I keep re-reading it, I’ll never hand it in.

But I handed it in. Ended up being 107 pages with bibliography. Actual text- 99 pages baby! Yeah!

I’m going to go have a bit of lunch downstairs with the girlfriends. I’m unsure as to what I’ll do with myself for the next bit. Right now a coffee and lunch sounds good *wink*

xoxoxo
special kisses and hugs to Dani, Jim, Leone, and Julia for their editing help. So much thanks. So very very much!

jenn

Is done. Yes.

I now need to finish the conclusion. There is some crap in there that needs to go away. And then I need to kinda fluff it a bit.

Then I make one last run for these odd (like four or so) spots with something specific I need to input. I know ch1 needs a clarification of a source. Etc.

Um, then I hand it off for comments from my committee.

Then I’m thinking I’ll sleep for a few days.

In other news I just ate cake from the birthday party down the hall (department secretary). I may need to woof my cookies. It was one of those ones that is just a pretend cake but really just made up mostly of that faux whipping cream, some strange pudding layer, and white cake. *ick* Note to self: don’t eat the cake unless it has the word cheese or chocolate in it.

I was about to go to the gym, but might pass on that now.

*hugs*
jenn

(My next non-thesis post will get to be the challenge from Liz)

Stolen from Dani

Pick ONE word from each pair that you think describes me the best & leave it in the comments.

Then copy this and post it in your own blog to see how your friends view you.

* dominant or submissive
* logical or intuitive
* social or loner
* kinky or vanilla
* cute or sophisticated
* kitten or puppy
* warm flannel sheets or sleek satin
* leader or follower
* quiet or talkative
* spontaneous or planned
* teddy bear or porcelain doll
* hiking or window shopping
* tequila or vodka
* top or bottom
* bare foot or shoes
* jeans or dress pants
* tender or rough
* aware or dreamy
* nerd or jock

Is now written. Finished it yesterday night (friday). Today I’ll start editing it and hopefully finish that tomorrow. They I’ll have monday for my conclusion and tuesday for any last this and that. I’m totally exhausted, but the up side is in the two kitties who have been racing around this house all week. Spike and Chuck have had a blast. They are like a single entity. Sometimes because they are doing the exact same things - both in the window, both standing up against the screen door looking outside, both sleeping on my bed. Sometimes because they are attached to each other because they are in attack mode. They will run back and forth from the far end of the basement, up the stairs, down the hall, on my bed, under my bed, and then back down again. Sounding much like little elephants. Strike that. Big elephants.

So yeah, I can’t believe chapter four is written. I’m hopeful. As well, it ended up coming in at 22 pages so far (will be a bit more in the end I think). But a nice drop down from the 28 it was earlier.

Next I finish writting the conclusion (keeping it quick for now) and then we shall see what they all say, eh?

I’m so freaken tired, though. But I figure I’ll take time off next week. I just want to see if I can sprint this last bit to get it to my committee and then I’ll have a bit of time until the comments come trickling on back to me. Unless it sucks, they are pretty quick to hand it back then. *blarg*

xoxo
jenn

I mean, Star Wars, Nerds, Protests, Wil Wheaton (from Star Trek). What more can you ask for?

Quick story is that a group of ners lined up weeks and weeks early for the newest Star Wars movie only to be told that theatre won’t be playing it. The one down the road would open it. They didn’t move. They are staying there out of protest. For the love of the sweet baby jesus!

Read the April 15th entry. Ohmyfreakengod, this is too funny.
http://www.wilwheaton.net/

And then you must must must head over to Jessica Stover’s site. She starts on this in her april 13th entry:
http://www.jessicastover.com/#

And then she gets all excited as Wil referenes her in his blog. And then it just goes on from there. It is like reality tv - but good.

Right, so then feel free to get all the blogging nerdy goodness here:
http://blogging.la/archives/2005/04/star_wars_cover.phtml

Most excellent!

it is now official: my comments section is totally more amusing than my actual posts! *lmao* Thesis Fear Factor? OHMYGOD, that is too funny! I almost just need to cut and paste that into its own blog entry!

For the record, I might have outfits that tend to show off my chest and all - but I don’t wear tube tops! Well, not yet.

So I went to a thesis defense yesterday and today. Very good moves, on my part. I’ve been making a point of going to some lately in order to really make the process known to me. Today’s was excellent. And I’m feeling really good about it all. This one pretty much had my entire crew as the same committee so I got to see what kinds of questions they asked and so on. Excellent. And the student was great. She was motivational. Her use of feminist theory was a reminder to me of why I’m doing this work. So *thumbs up* to that use of my morning time. We then went for lunch which I did go to today despite my time crunch. My supervisor has been the supervisor on both yesterday and today’s thesis defenses and both times she asked me to come out to lunch. I didn’t go yesterday and she teased me about working too hard. Today I decided it was a good idea to go despite my desire to get back up to the office to work. I’m glad I did go as it is important to take that time (sometimes). But now I’m hoping to put in a good three hours before heading home and then meeting my friend for a run tonight.

xoxo
jenn

Really, I’m to the point where I think ch4 should get its own little sub-tracking section.

*le sigh*

I had kinda a *meh* start today to this gastly ch4, then it picked up for about… two hours or so. Went really really well and I was so happy to get my framework figured out for the chapter, modified some sections, etc. But now I’m back to the blah’s over it. I think it has progressed huge amounts today, but I think I got a bit depressed when I sat back and skimmed through it just now. Again - so much was done on it today which was all very very positive movement .. but I’m struck by how much it still needs. I’m trying to just think “well, keep on it and it will get done” - but I’m slipping into these not-helpful thoughts about how much there is and now I wasn’t really done this chapter and I shouldn’t have been thinking it was even close to being done and this could take me another week or so.

But really, so what? It will still be in ahead of schedule even if it did take another week. I mean, May 3rd was my goal and today is only the 18th. Silly rabbit. But I had been feeling so woooohooo for the past week and wasn’t expecting the *wammo* from left field on this one. I think today was good - but I think today I really realised I have to still essentially WRITE chapter four in so many ways.

But oh well - what can you do? I had a number of very nice ‘ah-ha!’ moments today and I’m very happy with the building emphasis now running through the chapter. I shall put in another hour on it today and then see if I might go home, finish making my soup from last night, and meet my friend for a run after dinner.

Back at it tomorrow. Hope to make some further progress. Yup.

And in other news, Spike has decided that Coral is evil. He might have to add her to his list. And Spike and Chuck have not stopped running for two days. I picked up Chuck yesterday and he fell asleep within seconds. Kinda like “oh god, can I stop running now??” *snoooore*

Ativan thinks it is the best thing ever. Chuck is too distracked with Spike to even think about chasing her. This morning I came out and she was sleeping on the couch, Chuck was in Spike’s bed, and Spike was on Chuck’s scratching post. I have no idea who was pulling a fast one on whom with that set-up.

xoxo
jenn

So ch 4 and I have been going for day two of the BIG BATTLE. And ch4 was soooo kicking my ass.

Now I know why. I was wrong. Chapter4 was having issues with me as I was trying to make it all be chatpter4. But see, only the first 2/3rds was actually ch4. The last 1/3 was the conclusion to the thesis. I’ll be nixing what I had before. I’ve separated the sections and they are so happy about that. I’m so happy about that. We’re all very happy. Even did a little happy dance about the office. People are used to this by now.

So yeah, ch4 was just really really making me so very very unhappy. It wasn’t flowing and it was able to finish up. I couldn’t build emphasis and there were these sections that were supposed to speak to the larger issues that just didn’t fit properly. Now I know that ch4 is about naming and words and sexuality. And about replying to the coloniser’s attempt to define Native women’s sexuality. And about the power of names. And the legal implications of these identities.

THEN, in the conclusion, I can talk about the greater transformations taking place within these authors’ texts.

So, I need to now- finally - write the framework around chapter4 which I’ll try and do at home tomorrow. Then monday will be the editing. Tuesday will be the completion of the new conclusion (which is so rockin as I was not at all happy with the old conclusion) and hopefully the editing of that too.

It may take another day or two for converting it all into one file with the right style running throughout, etc etc… but I’m just so glad to have figured out what was going on with ch4.

Yay!

In other news Spike the Cat will be coming over to stay with us for a week. Chuck was a total little poop this morning so I think he knows something is up.

*roll eyes*

This should be interesting.

My Blog Readers,

Thank you. All of you! Doing this blog has totally helped out with motivation and tracking and feeling a bit better about this process. I love the ra-ra’s. Go team!

Crazy Girl That Stares at Me,

Why? I just mean - WHY???

My Ass,

Sorry about the three days of running in a row. I know I know - but it has been pretty good all things considered. And the addition of running buddies is cool. Now we just need to get them co-ordinated onto the same day.

Pizza,

Yes, I love you too. I miss you. We should really try and catch up this weekend, eh?

Random People in the Office,

If you go to move the mouse and it is acting insane - CLEAN THE MOUSE BALL! I mean really - I opened one up today that had small children trapped in it.

Chapter Four,

Bite me. You really are a huge pain in my ass already anyways. Gah. Today you make me just want to scream. Actually, I just want to go home and play Sims2. And maybe eat pizza. The thought of coming in again tomorrow just makes me want to cry. We’ll give this one more go from 1:30-3:30 and then I’m going to Winners to try and find some new running pants. I’m warning you - shape up or you’re out of here!
(no, I’m not really sure what that would mean - ‘you’re out of here’ .. I mean, I do need a chapter four so that is kinda a weak threat. But.. but.. *waggles finger at chapter four* You won’t be happy!!)

love,
me