Preludes And Nocturnes

Copied from a note to Jim as I knew I’d not be able to recreate it again and I ended up blabbing away on something I would tend to share here. I’ve edited out the kisses *grin*

I also have had a great day and have made a major breakthrough on the thesis front. I’ve realised that my chapter three is going to be broken up and put in random spots throughout my other chapters. Part is going to chapter one (introducing all the ideas) and the rest is being split between chapters four and five (my discussions of my texts).

Before I had somthing like this:

Introduction: hi, welcome to my thesis. here’s all the disclaimers, intro to ideas, random babblings, outline of chapters, and more babblings.

Chapter one: here’s my big overarching theories. Here’s why they are important. Here’s how they tie in with all these issues of First Nations Lit and colonisation and history and law.

Chapter two: History and Colonisation must be understood. There are things in here we all seem to forget about these days. Here are the contracts, here are the legal considerations, here’s how canadian law DEFINED First Nations women’s identity in order to create some specific gender and racial issues. Most of this is about power, economics, and construction of identity.

Chapter three: Here’s all my specific theory about reading texts that are examples of counterstories, resistant narratives, recontextualisations of ’sources of fact’, subversive discourse, and so on. Here is why these issues are important around notions of gender, race, and law. Here is how we construct legal narratives of identity. These are the issues of resistance and reclaiming power. Here are a whole bus-load of how colonisation is an ongoing process within the production of First Nations women’s representation.

Chapter Four: Ohh look! A bunch of books and authors and narratives to actually highlight all that I’ve been blabbing on about for 70 pages. Here’s how First Nations women write about all these issues. Here’s how they talk about the importance of what they write. Here’s how they talk about the importance of just writing unto itself. Here’s how they point out the power of what they read - or don’t read - in school, in print. Here’s how their characters interact with all these issues.

Chapter Five: Ohh look! More about the books. What have the authors done to talk directly to colonisation? What do they say about a history of racism and sexism? What do the characters do in their struggles against all this? Hey, look at all the connections these authors are making between language, legal identities, and rape. Look at the different experiences based on family support, family lack of support, residential schools, and the removal of children from their communities of support. Wow, this all ties together in some very interesting ways. These authors are working to draw connections between issues, highlight current difficulties, and then transform the manner in which identity is external constructed through a lens of colonisation. They seek to create First Nations women’s identites on their own terms, within their own frameworks, and addressing the issues important to them.

Conclusion: This transformation of identity representation is so important and so interesting for the role of narratives in the study of identity. As a feminist this ties into so many issues of activism, agency, and the power of narrative. Yadda yadda.

So what I’ve decided is that chapter three will get worked throughout. And I think this is going to help create the flow and cohesion I’m looking for throughout the chapters. As well, it will help me out as chapter three was the least construted. It has lots of paragraphs and TONNES of quotes, but it just never seemed to come together to stand on its own. So I’m please to have figured this out. I hope to move it over the next week and work it into the other chapters. As I do that I’ll also rework the chapters to reflect my new clarity on how each section is going to tie in with the others.

Feeling good.

*bouncy bouncy*

So roomie and I go out for dinner tonight. I ate half of mine and got half to go. I still feel like I’m going to barf-o-rama. I’m turning into such a light-weight. It is quite sad. I mean, it wasn’t even like I made a choice to get half to go and then felt like I ate a comfortable amount. No. I thought it looked like a normal amount of food and that I’d just eat it like everyone else in the restaurant. Gah. Leone is right. I’m totally becoming a weirdo.

So this is day three of me getting up at 6am to do yoga before doing to school. Yep. Six. A. M.

Add to that my running three times a week, two sessions with weights, and I’m hoping to add two evenings of pilates.

So this is kinda what I do now. I get up early, am in bed by 10pm, eat whole grains, 3L of water a day, soy milk, tofu and beans, veggies, bran muffins, and fruit. I pointed out this dude wearing horrid running shorts who was running the uni hill and told Leone two things: 1) if I start running the uni hill please push me over the edge and 2) if I start wearing dorky orange running shorts that flap like that guy’s were - again with the off the edge of the hill please. That will be my sign I’ve really crossed over to the dark side. I mean, all this is fine as long as I’m still wearing a pink sweater with a cute kittie purse to match while going out for a dinner I can’t finish. And the running is good as long as I’m still wearing cute running pants with matching shirt and kicky runners. But the moment I start trading fashion for health, I’ve GONE TOO FAR!!

It is important to keep an eye on priorities.

With that said, my thesis is progressing, but it feels like forever. I’m attempting to “conceptualise the entire framework” and create flow and cohesion throughout all the chapters. It feels like hosting a party with seven very different guests. And there isn’t enough booze. But we’re getting there.

Once that is done I think I’ll be able to address each chapter with some fine tuning towards a complete cohesive draft.

My goal is to finish this mapping by the end of this week. And then to have two weeks for each chapter. I’m aiming for then end of May/ mid June. Then I’d hope to hand it off for final revision comment from committee. No idea how long after that as they are the wildcard factors. Shall keep you posted.

Very good. I’m off to put out my clothes for tomorrow, make my lunch, pack up my bag for the morning, and ponder when I became a freak.
xoxo
jenn

So I’ve got some links on the side. Anyone thinking of something else that would be fun please let me know the link (and please note I’ve included both Glamour magazine and a cultural theory website as fun… so obviously there is a range). I’d really be quite interested in anything else that is fun/fashion and more pop culturey ones.

And me mom arrived up here yesterday afternoon (staying at sister’s place) so we’ve had a chance to visit. I [heart] my mom and I’m very very happy she is here! Is all great except she seems to have brought a snow storm with her so it has been going non-stop all day. First day of spring my ass. In preparation I’ve logged into the uni remote server and downloaded my latest chapter-work and transfered it over to my laptop. I’m not sure that I’ll get to it today, but if tomorrow looks rather yuck I might just stick around the house.

Went out dancing last night for the first time in ages, it seems. Coral and I went with some friends and danced up a storm. Errr, my hip flexors are killing me today and I think a session of yoga might be necessary to stetch me out again a bit. But yea-gods we had fun. Today has been one of those lovely mellow days were mom and I went for coffee at 8:30 and I”ve been home since 10:30 and just puttered a bit. Did some laundry and did a bathroom closet purge. Dear god, how much lipstick do I really need? And I know I’ll never wear certain shades of nail polish/eyeshadow/blush or old perfume/hair product/ etc…

I gain a very strange, very powerful feeling of satisfaction when I throw out a garbage bag filled with older half-used no-longer-loved things. If possible the stuff goes to the Salvation Army - but in this case it was pure and instant purge. I always feel a bit lighter. And a bit closer to being able to pick up and move when the time comes.

*bouncy bouncy*

XoXo (especially to Simon)
Jenn

…you’ve been working on thesis for too long without a break.

That would be getting up from desk and going down the hall in a daze, walking into the lunch room, undoing pants, glancing around for a moment, and then realising you were meaning to walk to the bathroom.

Oh sweet jesus.

At least
1)I clued in before sitting down anywhere *ack, and
2) there was nobody in the lunch room.

But yeah, I totally had to come back into the office and tell L. and F. about it so they could laugh their asses off. I mean, how can you do something that spazy and not share.

Hence the blog entry.

*sigh*

What’s that you say? My title is in some strange other language. Why yes it is. It is in the language of immigration to the US.

*doh*

So Jim and I have spent the last two days trying to figure out the differences between visas for me getting to the us. As well, we’re playing with timelines and different celebration options. I really really wanted us to get “real” married in Canada, but that seems a more difficult route in some ways.

No matter which route (k1 or k3) there is waiting involved. Like months and months.
If we get married in Canada (K3) the waiting has to happen AFTER the wedding. If we get married in the states (K1) the waiting happens before the wedding. See, the K3 is “bring your wife to the US” and K1 is “bring your fiance to the US” and they are about equal in time.

With all that, the K1 just seems like a no-brainer. Except I think I really wanted my “real” wedding to be in Canada. I’m trying to get over that. Now, we can have a celebration of our love in canada (that sounds either dirty or 70’s cheesy - I can’t tell which) that can be everything I actually want for the wedding. And then when we get down to the states we can just do the legal thing at the courthouse.

The timelines run something like this: if we want to get married for real in canada (K3) we will have about six to eight months after the wedding where I’ll have to stay in canada and Jim will be in the states. This is kinda not cool as if we do it this summer I’ll be married, done my thesis, and sitting in mom and dad’s basement waiting for the Visa to be processed. The other option is to get married RIGHT AWAY and just plan the separation to be necessary as I’ll still need to finish the ol’ thesis.

The other route is to start Visa now (K1), plan on it taking six months, plan party for Fall, get K1Visa in fall around that time (exact date not too fussy), go on honeymoon, go to states with K1, get married within 90 days of getting to US.

Oh and then add to all this that Jim and I are unsure if we want to try for a fall wedding/thingy or just go for next Spring. And in that case it gets kinda hairy as the posting forums are iffy about getting into the states once their records show a Visa in process… so once we start this our travels get a bit more difficult.

If you’ll excuse me, I have to go let my head explode now.

I’m trying to avoid that thing I do. That thing where I think of fifteen things I should blog about but then don’t, so I end up not blogging about anything as I’ve made a list which actually ends up limiting.

Yeah. So I’m just going with whatever happens here.

I’m home. Home home this time. And I’ve had many Chuck the Cat snuggles. And seen many friends so far. And had some amazing reactions to my ring which makes me all girly-happy. And some simply wonderful reactions to my engagement which has been so sweet. And Cali made me cry with the conversation about how happy she is for me and how sad we both are about me leaving, but we know we’ll be just fine as we’ve just got one of those kinds of friendships which will travel the distance just fine! And so many friends and so many wonderful converstations over the past two days.

So I got groceries.

*wink*

And I have to share with you all my dinner I made myself tonight (Coral was out). I made fresh salsa (tomatoes, red and green peppers, red onion, garlic, fresh lime juice, fresh cilantro, chilis, salt and pepper); baked potatoes (rubbed with a bit of olive oil and sprinkled with big rock salt) - broiled for the last five minutes to crisp the skins; and a wild sockeye salmon fillet broiled with a little olive oil, red onion, and lemon juice. All seved over a bed of spinach leaves with a little plain yogurt on the side.

I was so impressed with myself.

And now I’m tired and thinking about how much of my “Mega-List” I’ve gotten done for settling in so far. Tomorrow I will get my files ready to transfere up to the uni computer, get my hair cut, and have a visit with Cali and the monster baby. Friday I’m heading up to school “for real” as opposed to the past two days of unreal (read: fun chit-chats) and we’ll see if we can’t get this thesis finished up!

XoXo to all,
Jenn

From the Globe and Mail, March 2:

• cows can feel fear and anxiety and worry about the future
• cows form social groups within their herds, can dislike other cows, and can carry grudges for months or years.
• cows are highly sexual and will try and mount other cows who are in heat. And here’s my favorite quote: “Cows look calm, but really they are gay nymphomaniacs” (John Webster, Brit proff on animal husbandry).
• cows like to solve intellectual puzzles like opening a door and their brainwaves get all excited, heartbeats increase, and some of them even jumped into the air. “We call it their Eureka moment” (Donald Broom, Cambridge proff of animal welfare).

I just found this to be worth sharing. No, I’m not certain why. And yes, I really do need to find a way to get the Globe and Mail when I’m in the States.

Since arriving I’ve been able to pack away my winter coat. I expect I’ll pull it out upon returning home on monday *doh* - but for now it is nice to wander about in a sweater or light jacket.

So Julia and I went for a run yesterday. She’s doing the training for the Sun Run (10k) so I jumped right in where she was at in the training. The whole thing where you start off with run one minute, walk two minutes, do this 12 times.

Yeah, yesterday she was at Run five, Walk one, do this seven (or eight, I lost count) times. I made it through half with her and then switched to run three, walk three for the remainder. I’ve not run since that little bit with the treadmill in January. And today I had a tough time getting the spinach greens from the bottom of the fridge…. *bend the knees… bend them… don’t topple over!*

I think I’d like to keep up with this when I get home. Although I’m unsure there will be the same level of tree blossoms and green grass going on.

*sigh*